Sometimes I feel like a broken record. I say it over and over again to my girlfriends – the ones that also have these little dictators running around and running them ragged, almost all day, almost every day. And I always get the same reply.
“They just don’t understand…”
“No, they really don’t.”
Our husbands work long hours.
We are with our kids more than anyone else.
They test us, they challenge us, they throw fits about nothing that even remotely makes any sense.
(They may very well be complete angels for everyone BUT us).
They love us and want to be near us always, even when we are sitting on the toilet.
They have no problem giving us sassy responses or throwing their dinner on the floor just for the hell of it.
They only want us. All. The. Time.
Or they want anyone but us, but we are the only ones they have.
When I think about this, it’s not only applicable to my husband, but also a chunk of my girlfriends, as well. Truth be told, I feel like it’s part of the reason we need to create these little tribes of moms that are like us, so that we at least feel like there is someone who understands what we are going through.
While my husband doesn’t understand why I struggle to plan meals for the week and keep the house picked up, I don’t understand the daily stress of his job. I don’t understand what it’s like to leave the house before 6 am and not get home before 6 pm.
While my girlfriend who works outside the home doesn’t understand how I stay home with my kids all day without ending up in a looney bin, I don’t understand how she leaves hers 5 days a week to go to work.
While I see pictures of my girlfriend taking her kids to do fun things, during the week or traveling abroad, I don’t understand how she logistically handles it all and juggles around nap time and gets things done, she doesn’t understand how I just can’t be bothered to put on real pants and leave my house, most days. Or maybe she does. I should ask her.
While my girlfriend with 4 kids and loads of family/help nearby doesn’t understand how I make it without help, I don’t understand how she can have that much time being so close to family and still love them and want to be around them.
We all have our struggles. The way it happens though, no one really understands the struggles we are going through, and we, in turn, don’t understand theirs. Despite this, we don’t need to feel alone in our journeys. The common thread here is that we are all doing our best. We all want to raise our kids to be good people and we all want to be happy. So we trudge on. We do what we need to do to remain human – we eat chocolate, drink wine, cry, watch trash tv, exercise, go for walks with the kids or without the kids, talk on the phone, don’t talk on the phone, we get by. And some days it’s not pretty and we don’t have clean pants and that makes us feel like crying. And other days we feel like we hit the jackpot and can conquer the world.
But we are all here. And we are in it for the long haul – at least until these kids move out, right?! So cheers to you, fellow mom, for doing your best and making things work. I may not always understand where you’re coming from, and you may not understand me, but I get you, and I feel you, because this shit is hard. In case no one has told you lately, you are doing GREAT!
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